SOOOO I know this is not as exciting to anyone else but us- but hey, here it is :) Little Lester's HB hovers around 140 give or take 5 beats. I LOVE this sound, and I LOVE having the home doppler so anytime I feel nervous I can check it.
anyone feel like the time from Christmas to New Years is a blur, and suddenly the holidays pass and you wake up and it is a whole week later than it was when you went to sleep. They are such a blur to me, but a fantastic one.
We got some great gifts- Eric's parents gave us the flip video to have on hand for Lester's arrival. I tested it out with video taping the heartbeat, it worked, but now I cannot seem to format the video for the life of me to upload- so I am still learning... it is driving me nuts (the downfall of macs, not everything is suited for them).
Eric gave me the Canon Digital Rebel Camera- I am SOOOOOOO excited by it. I will do a picture by picture comparison this week just to see the quality, but I have been dying for one of these- and def. wanted one before Lester's arrival. Seriously, I am torturing the dog, but my shots of her look pro.
I puked for the first time this pregnancy :(. I think it is because of Xmas eve dinner- which consists of baked brie in puff pastry served with fruit (yes it is a soft cheese, but pasteurezed), prosciutto and melon salad, a shellfish platter (lobster, crab, & shrimp), then the main course of prime rib, potatoes, veggies, etc). I also had half a glass of red wine. So from 3-4 am I spent the night hugging the bowl. I guess my body was telling me not to be a glutton during pregnancy. Good Lesson. At least I felt fine as soon as I got it all out.
I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday and is planning on a fun and safe New Years. I miss chatting with my girls :)
See you on the flip side of the invisible week
XXOOXX
All of a sudden, 2 days ago, I went from not feeling like I looked remotely pregnant, just a little fat and bloated- to totally being able to tell I am pregnant.
It is not a full "I popped" because it is not evident to strangers, but it was the mini-popping where it became evident to me that I have a bit of a baby belly. Does this even make sense? I just think now that if you knew I was pregnant, or were suspicious of it- you would see the bump. It is kind of like the whole 'is she, isn't she' tabloid articles- nothing there that actually looks pregnant, but enough to look pregnant if that is what you are thinking about.
So- with no further ado, here are my first belly pics. I am not a bare stomach type of soul- maybe when my stomach gets cute (if it does) I will go there- but for now, clothes only :)
For frame of reference- I am a self admitted, not tiny girl. But- I have never had a stomach sticking out issue- My weight is more that I am thick and have big boobs, not that I have a big stomach.
I will start with the bad so I end on a happy note.
Today I got into a pretty bad car accident. I suppose 'bad' is an exaggeration- but for me it was terrifying and my car is really fucked up and it was the scariest day of my life. I was driving along on a road going southbound. There was a small sidestreet (no traffic light) on the northbound side of the road. The woman I guess was trying to turn left of that sidestreet (so she needed to cross northbound traffic to turn left and join the southbound traffic- which is where I was).
I guess she looked left and northbound was clear, so she shot out and slammed right into my car. The speed limit on this road was 55mph so I was not going slow. My car spun and swerved, thank God noone was to my right, and went up onto a hill. Luckily I landed in the shoulder. I slammed my head pretty hard on the part of the car that is up and to the side (kind of between the windshield and the driver's side window). From my door to the front left corner of the car, the exterior is gone- there is no shell, you can see the insides just like the terminator,
I took this picture of my car with my phone- it obviously could have been a lot worse, but in my opinion it was still pretty terrible.
The ambulance came, checked me out- asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. I elected to make it through the police report and go to the hospital with my husband, who was driving to me at this point. This all happened about 40 miles away from the house- I was just about at work.
The other driver was a woman visiting from Mexico with an international driver's license, she didn't speak English so we had to wait for a translator. I was scared to death of insurance issues just because how do you track someone down for this stuff if they are out of the country. Fortunately she was driving a relative who lives in PA's car, and the insurance was all in order so that is lucky for us. She got charged with some traffic citations, I didn't - so I hope that is good enough for the 'fault' issues with insurance.
I felt like such an idiot- I was unloading what I needed from my car- which was 4 rolls of xmas wrapping paper, some wrapped gifts, and about 4 bags of other gifts. The police officer was looking at me like i was nuts- but Christmas is 13 days away and who knows when and where I will get my car back.
Eric showed up with perfect timing as we were wrapping things up. We stopped for water and to freshen up then headed to the hospital. We elected to go to a hospital closer to home, yet not in the city- and this was the right choice. I walked in to register thinking it would be a long wait, and they took me back immediately. (that could have been because of my head injury though). I was checked out, and declared I had a concussion. They didn't scan my head or anything
Of course- during all of this- my number 1 concern was the baby. I was internally freaking out and it just got worse. The nurse came in with a doppler and could hear nothing. She stood there looking and just shaking her head back and forth at the physician's assistant. The physician's assistant tried to find the heartbeat as well- and again nothing. By this time tears were running down my cheeks. I know DH was super scared too, but he was trying to comfort me. They went to get a dr, which took about 10 minutes- then he came in and tried with the doppler for a long time. Again- nothing. I was silently sobbing by this point. I was scared to death.
They left us to call labor and delivery and see what they thought- I guess they sent down one of those portable ultrasound machines. We waited about a half hour for the machine to come- the doctor and PA came in again to work it- and if i wasn't in such a state, it would have been comical. They both said they have newfound respect for ultrasound technicians because it is much harder then it looks. We were all staring at the screen like- is that baby, is that not baby, what is that? and then what happens
a little arm sticks up and waves at us and Lester does a summersault.
Of course I cried all over again with relief. I still wanted to make sure the heartrate was fine and s/he wasn't in distress, but the little bugger was flipping around. Eric started giggling and got so excited saying 'what's he doing, look at that', I could tell by his giggle that he was just purely and truely relieved- it was one of those thank God laughs of relief. The weirdest thing was- I think this was our coolest u/s to date. Our 6 week one was awesome because we saw the heart flicker, our 10 week one was so quick, and she didn't let us look at the screen while she did the measurements- so it was cool, but not so cool. Our NT one was great because it was long and the baby really grew and was moving- but this u/s was purely about looking at the baby. There were no measurements to take, we were just making sure it was doing ok. And the dr. and PA doing it never get to do these things since they are ER trauma doctors, that I think they were in awe of the baby moving around in there just like Eric and I. Not that I am knocking u/s techs- not at all, but they have measurements and angles to get and are amazingly competent at finding these things. But a silver lining of the day was just being able to stare at the baby and watch what it was doing for a little while. I would have taken no accident and no u/s over what happened in an instant- but since you can't go backwards and the accident did happen- there is no shame in admitting it was a fun u/s to just watch the little one (plus the feeling of relief probably amplified our feelings during it)
We then got discharged- I came home and had time to nap for an hour before my ob.gyn appt- which fortunately was already scheduled for today. The dr. was a little upset they didn't scan my head- saying if they would do it if I wasn't pg they should give me the same care even though I am- and that 1 scan isn't risky. So I aam to watch how I feel and act over the next few days and see how I feel.
Then he used to doppler and he found the heartbeat in less than 15 seconds- nice and fast and beating strong (i didn't get a rate though). My blood pressure, while still a bit elevated, was lower and closer to normal, and my weight was up 0.5 lb from 5.5 weeks ago, but I am still down 2.5 lb overall.
So the good is- my appointment went great, and I am just so thankful that I and the baby are both in good health. I was so scared and am just so relieved and keep saying prayers of thanks. I am also thankful for the prayers i received from my trusty support system today- they rock.
Pregnancy brain is no joke... here are 5 reasons I know I am losing my mind
Number 5- I went to school with my shirt inside out
Number 4-I had to use the ladies room, went to a restroom I have been to before, and yet still walked in the men's room, thought to myself they changed the restroom, and then saw the urinal
Number 3- Leaving my coffee in the car instead of bringing it into work
Number 3a- Realizing I actually did bring said coffee in and it was on my desk the whole time that I was searching my car and scratching my head.
Number 2- Driving to work daily, having a road closed for the past 3 weeks, and yet still attempting to drive that route
And the number 1 reason- Sitting at a red light thinking about how I am losing my mind and the ways I have shown, specifically thinking about the dumb detour route- and then 10 seconds later driving to the closed road anyway
:)
Houston... we have a heartbeat! Finally on my home doppler I heard it- beating away loud and clear at 145 bpm. YAY Lester, keep growing strong :)
Nothing sounds better, it was so nice to hear and I am going to try to not be too addicted to that little machine.
In other news- I am slacking more than I ever have in the Christmas shopping department- I have a lot to buy and better get to it. I am hoping to spend a significant amount of time online ordering stuff, so that my 'to buy' list maybe gets a little smaller. Anyone have good suggestions for the inlaws? They are picky, have 'everything', and we don't want to go joint or do a gift card because FIL and step-MIL have the same exact birthday and we did that for them then.
Also- I got an email from old navy for 20% off and free shipping on orders of 100 or more. I think I may buy some maternity clothes- pants for work particularly because mine are getting snug and they are so cheap, plus the discount- sounds good to me!
It was really good until I went to the grocery store with Eric, was bagging our groceries, and the cashier went to put a rubberband around the edamame, the rubber band snapped, and hit me smack in the eye... so of course I am crying- not because I was trying to, but when you get hit in the eye tears come out no matter what- they were bombarding me asking for info and offering ice, and I was seriously fine, just needed to blink for a minute and be left alone so I was not embarrassed.
But besides that- it was a good weekend. The 13 week mark has passed. Lester is the size of a shrimp from your shrimp cocktail, or a lemon, and probably other stuff depending on what you read. I still feel fine, my clothes are beginning to feel snugger (if that is a word). I am not showing or anything yet, but there is no sucking in either if you know what I mean. I actually ordered some maternity clothes from Motherhood- I got 8 things (3 pairs of pants, a jacket, and 4 tops) for 200 bucks, which struck me as reasonable. That should last me a while- shirts really are not an issue yet, but if I have 2 pairs of black maternity pants and 2 pairs of maternity jeans I should be good for a while- it is really jeans and a couple work pants that I am struggling with.
As for our weekend- Friday night we went out for sushi (gasp). It was delicious :) Then we came home and I forget what we watched- but it was just a snuggly night for us.
Saturday- I am so proud of this- I went to the gym. I have not been since before my BFP, and really needed to get in there. I am one of those people who goes to the gym regularly, something comes up, I miss a time or two, then I don't go again for another month or so- repeat cycle. I have been meaning to get back in while I can. I am not trying to lose weight persay, but am trying not to gain too much. This is not vanity, but necessity- I am already overweight and my dr. said I should watch my weight gain (as a precaution- not because I am gaining uncontrollably) and try to stay under 20 lbs weight gain (instead of the 30 lbs for a woman starting at her healthy weight). So I did 48 minutes on the elliptical- and I felt great.
We went out to dinner again last night (just to a local cafe/diner type place within a block of the house). It was snowing and really just a beautiful night to walk to dinner and go home and cuddle up. We rented 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'... it was so, so- but again, it was a snuggly night.
Today we decorated for Christmas and got our tree! The tree is not decorated yet, but pulling out all the decorations and such for around the house is a lot of work! We played Christmas music and had peppermint hot chocolate- I love Christmas because of all these traditions it encompasses.
Then I got hit in the face...
I will say- although I enjoyed this weekend, I am going a little stir crazy and think next weekend we need to plan a night out with some friends... Nothing wild and crazy, but I am sick of movies LOL
Now we are off to MIL's to tell her the news. I know- if you don't know me well you think it is terrible she does not know yet, but I will just say there is a lot of back story, drama, and the like... so we are doing it tonight. Both of us would put it off even longer if possible, but we know she needs to hear from us and it is too risky to have the news out and not tell her .
I am not allowed to videotape this reaction- but I could act it out for you before I even see it. She will be ecstatic- to the point of tears and moaning... which is exciting.
Hope everyone else's weekend was pretty good.
our most recent picture- upside down because it is easier to see what's what and where.
I know, I know- anyone who reads this is saying, no shit sherlock... we have known that for 2 months. Here is the thing though- this is the first time I truly believe it. Whatever needed to click for me, finally clicked. First, I battled fear of miscarriage and my anxiety issues. But in addition to those fears- I have not felt pregnant. I feel great, I have actually lost a few pounds, nothing has changed. Trust me- I am not complaining about this, but I am trying to describe how surreal this all is. We go in for an ultrasound, I feel the same as I have ever felt, and then boom- there is this little being inside of me. A little being who is over 6.5 cm long- that is pretty big, almost 3 inches.. inside of me, moving around, like seriously there. It is unbelievable... I am not saying I expect to feel little Lester yet- not at all, but I never imagined that I would feel like myself while this whole secret thing is going on inside of me. It is truly amazing.
We had our NT scan today. It went great- the baby looked 'perfect' in the words of the dr. Heart rate was 142 and it was such a cool ultrasound- baby was moving around and we saw all sorts of views- the spine, arms, legs, top of head, and more. As for the NT, if you don't know, it is a sequential screening- a 2 part process. Today we had the ultrasound which measures the fluid in the baby's neck. If the fluid filled cavity measured over 2.5mm there may be cause for concern for chromosomal abnormalities such as Down's Syndrome. Lester's fluid- about 1.6 or 1.7mm. YAY. I also had blood taken. I will hear from the office in about a week with preliminary results, then I go back for one more blood draw in January for the final results. Nothing is definitive- it will just give me a 1 in XXX chance of our likelihood of having genetic or neural tube disorders. Hopefully that XXX number has a lot of 0's on the end. With my age and the NT measurement- we should be in great shape.
The scan was funny. L'il Lester was kind of sleeping.. not really facing us for a good picture, so the tech pushed on my uterus to try to get him to move around. I thought DH was going to die. We have what I like to call the P rule in my house- DH has a problem with Pushing, Prodding, Pinching, Pincing, Poking, etc. my hips and stomach... for years he does this- it is kind of like a mosquito, he is constantly doing this, and I am constantly swatting him away :). When the tech left he pretty much attacked me as a rare opportunity to push, jiggle, rub my tum. He also went to blow raspberries, but upon his face meeting the u/s gel, pulled away.
I loved this place we went to. It was a last resort- the 3rd and final option of places to get our NT scan done because the 2 places in the city associated with UPenn health were booked up. This place is also with the UPenn system, but is in NJ about 25 minutes away. They were WONDERFUL- so kind, talked to us, the dr. we met was great... we actually scheduled our Big Anatomy u/s with them- since it is out of the ob's office anyway- I would much rather go there.
Life is great right now. I am so happy for this baby.
