Truly Thankful

We made it to 12 weeks. 12 weeks is a huge milestone as far as miscarriage risks go. Yes, something could still happen, but the chances are low and I am clinging to that. It is time to just enjoy being pregnant and not spend as much time worrying like crazy and still checking the toilet paper when I go to the bathroom.
Thanksgiving went great. I am sooo proud of us (me). The food was great, there was sooo much and I am loving leftovers. But even better- this was one of the few times my H's family and my family were together. They have met, but usually it is at a big event, not an intimate situation. Everyone got along great. This is great to know knowing we have a kiddo on the way and will be having birthdays and the like to celebrate as one big family.
We told DH's family on Thanksgiving. They are super excited, and his stepbrothers said 'we knew it' all because I didn't order a glass of wine the one time we went to dinner in this past 2 months. I had a video of their reaction, left the camera running on the table so you could see perfectly, the his step-mother got up, leaned against the table, and I kid you not- the whole video is her butt, perfectly centered with a wedgie and all, filling the whole screen. It is kind of hysterical, I had tears running down my eyes when I watched it, but I feel wrong about posting it here for the world to see.
On Friday we had the Turkey Trot bar crawl. We announced to our friends. My H is an idiot- I told him to call 2 people (his best friends from grade school who were not going to the bar crawl) and tell them b/c they should know before other people and should hear it from us. So he took that as tell everyone. So when I got to the event (a whole 10 minutes late) I got a bunch of congratulations, and I had to walk away and burst into tears. I love my husband but he is a moron sometimes- how could he not realize the reason we were announcing then was to see everyone? He took tell the two friends as a it's a free for all direction. At least because it was early, there were not too many of our friends there, so I didn't miss out on too many people- but I was mad. Oh well- he was excited and I am in hindsight glad for him, because he got all the attention- lets face it- when a couple announces you are super happy for them, but the girl generally gets all the attention with the 'how are you feeling' questions and the like. So at least he had his moment.
So the news is out, I still feel great, and we are very thankful.
Here is to hoping our little Lester looks great at our NT scan on Thursday :)

what was I thinking

16 people in our little townhouse for thanksgiving??? We have no dining room, and the dining area is too small to put everyone- so it looks like a big Cafeteria table - stretches 19 feet from the front to the rear of the house. It is going to be crowded. We can't even set up the chairs until it is time to eat because I want people to be able to walk around easily. Fortunately we have the finished basement with foosball, PS3, and 2 TVs for the kids to hang out in. And the adults can hang in the living room- but it is going to be interesting.
My family will just have fun, I really hope my inlaws (really my step-MIL) won't judge too much. It should be fine.
What on earth was I thinking?
Tonight I baked cookies, tomorrow I finish grocery shopping and bake pecan nut cups, Wednesday I will chop veggies, pick up and brine the turkey, get a cheese tray, etc. I am completely organized, and in complete chaos.

Please tell me this doesn't look too crowded! (and ignore the shoes and mess- i am still trying to get everything together)




Also- here are my mantle pics, it looks better in person





And my last decoration I love- these plates form Pottery Barn Kids (the cute stuffer turkey sitting by the fireplace is also from PBK)



Man- I feel very 'grown up'. It is funny how I still feel like a 'kid' a lot, especially in family situations- but here I am, hosting thanksgiving and knocked up... it is hitting me that I am a grown up now (mommy wow...bumbabumbumbump). Anyone else still feel like that? I work, have been married for 3 years, we bought our house 4 years ago, all this 'responsible, adult' stuff- and yet thanksgiving is making me realize I am a 27 year old woman and not a kid anymore LOL.

We are telling the inlaws on thanksgiving. On Friday is the annual Turkey Trot bar crawl- a big, drunk, event among our friends. We have been doing it for 7 years or so... it is a prearranged, mapped out with times and all bar tour. Every year we go and someone brings nametags- you usually write something funny on the name tag.
The question is- do I announce to friends on Friday since we will all be together and I will be 11 weeks 6 days?
And if yes- what do I write on my nametag?

Happy & Pissed

1st- let me say thanks for all the wonderful comments- shirt 3 with the flowers is the overwhelming winner! I love comments, so thanks :)
Happy- pregnancy is going great, we hit 11 weeks, 6 more days until that 'all-powerful' 12 week mark is complete. Everything is starting to feel more real and like this is really it :) Even the fact that I typed that is a good sign because normally I would be too paranoid about saying something like that. So on the pregnancy front- we are good. I still can't find the heartbeat with the home doppler- but since it says from 10-12 weeks, and I am not a little girl, I am not worried about it (yet LOL).

Pissed- my favorite ring is gone. I wore my wedding rings and my favorite non wedding ring on Friday. It was a beautiful black onyx ring, about 1/2 inch square, with tiny diamonds surrounding the black onyx and forming 2 bands from the side. Eric gave it to me for Christmas last year. So anyway- I wore this ring on Friday. Friday night I took off all my rings (unusal for me, but whatever) and put them in the top drawer of my jewelry box. Saturday I get up, put on my wedding rings and a different right hand ring, and am surprised by people coming home with Eric from his office's Turkey bowl game. One girl wants to see my jewelry. I love this girl, she is fun, i trust her, we go up. I am kind of moving things out of my jewelry box as she is looking b/c I have an HPT in there, and CBEFM stick, so am hustling.
We are done, go downstairs, go out for brunch, day over. Last night I went to change my rings and my black one is gone.
I hate hate hate to think this girl took it. She is our friend, she is eric's colleague, i trust her. I don't think she did- but I cannot come up with anything else plausible. She was the only one up there, and since i had my wedding rings there, i have no doubt that i put it there.
i am so confused, pissed, and was balling my eyes out last night. Neither Eric and I believe this of this person, but then I am left with thinking what?

eric keeps referring to it as 'misplaced' which pisses me off b/c it sounds like I was irresponsible, but I know he is in disbelief as much as I that this friend of ours could possibly have done that so we are searching high and low and trying to think of what kind of bizarre thing could have happened. I too am grasping to that straw.

i don't know what to do- if a couple days had gone by i would have been freaking out that i did misplace it, but i know it was in there fri night- the other 2 rings i took off were and i certainly didn't take 2 off and put them in my jewelry box, and that one off and throw it in the corner or something. i am so sad

I love my dopey husband

Our conversation tonight went as follows:
E- "I'm not going to get you any baby stuff or anything for Christmas, ok"
Me- "ok"
E-" You know because it is so early and all, are there rules for that?"
Me- "Don't know, it's my first time too"
E- "Well we should wait until the 1st trimester is over"
Me- you realize that by Christmas I will be 16 weeks, which is 2-4 weeks after the end of the 1st tri, depending who you ask (not saying I wanted stuff, but I think he should realize the timing)
E- "really? already? well i am still not buying you stuff, maybe, i don't know, i'll buy it after, i think, when do you buy it? ask your boards"

In other news, I am looking at buying a t-shirt. That is how I am going to 'announce' to my students. They are high school kids and I feel silly saying 'I'm pregnant' to them, and I don't want the whole is she, isn't she guessing game.
I am not ready to order yet- but will in like 2 weeks or so. There were a lot of cute shirts, but I am not a white shirt kind of girl and the options in black were much more limited- but there are some cute ones. I think I know which I like but would love opinions

Which do you like?
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Ultrasound Update

We had our 10 week 2 day ultrasound today- and it was great!  My big fear going in was a missed miscarriage since I have had such light symptoms- but we got to see our little one and it's heart beating away on that screen.  The Heart Rate was 160, which from all my research (ie: google) is pretty great and right on target.  I asked how we were measuring and the tech just said right around there, so I guess that was on target too.  It was really really quick today and a bit disappointing- I liked the last tech better, she talked to us more.  Although I guess they really are not supposed to talk to us.

I have decided I am neurotic.  The only thing that flipped me out was how blurry the pics are- I googled all sorts of 10 week u/s pics and saw all these cute outlines of babies, you can see noses and feet- not ours.  But s/he is still adorable, and I am guessing that because it was abdominal and not transvag it is not as clear, not to mention the layers of blub they had to go through as well.  I also didn't like that the tech told us she had to go check with the dr.  But I am guessing that is standard b/c she said everything looks good- and there is no way (i think) that an us tech would say the word 'good' if it wasn't.  SO I am excited and finally calming down a bit about things.  Don't get me wrong- i will still be calling my dr. in a few days just to ask her to look at the u/s results, but otherwise.. life is good.

I am pissed at Target though.  They cancelled my carseat order- didn't even email me first, I found out from the Nest that these orders were cancelled.  They are not honoring the price.  I *knew* it must have been a mixup, but I have never heard of a store not honoring the price on an incident like that, and think it was pretty f'ed up for them to cancel orders without any word to customers, and that even if they were not giving the full price that was offered, they should be offering the customers who ordered it something.

Today was a great day- I hope it was for everyone else :)

Carly

ummm I am crazy

I just bought not one, but two carseats. Yes- you read it correctly, two carseats.
The extremely highly rated Britax Marathon Convertable Carseat retails for 280 bucks- Target has it in charcoal for $43 and free shipping. So I bought two. I don't know if it is a mistake, as none of the other colors are discounted, and it is not like it is banana yellow or something- but whatever, I ordered it- I even told DH in advance so he didn't think I was nuts and he thought it was a steal and said go for it. (granted I didn't mention 2, but whatever- lol) I don't even know if people need 2 carseats- but we have 2 cars, grandparents cars, etc. I figure even if I am wrong it is so cheap it is worth having and I could always list it on ebay or something.

I feel silly, yet proud- I love a good deal!

Here is the link for any girls interested in being nuts like me.
Car Seat Listing at Target

25 % done, 30 weeks to go...

Well, we hit the 10 week mark! I can't believe we are one quarter done with this pregnancy (although that is kind of cheating since the first 2 weeks are freebies and you don't find out until 3-4 weeks along). but still!

Our baby is approximately the size of a prune right now! Below is what happens when you try to find a picture of a prune and google image search ;baby the size of a prune'. not pretty huh?



In other exciting news- our ultrasound is tomorrow!!! I am so excited and nervous all at once... it will def. be a big difference from our last one. I am praying things look good and that little heartbeat is chugging along at a much stronger rate than last time!

Not much more to update pregnancy wise. I am cramping a bit, which is supposedly normal, plus it could be from constipation (and i think maybe from being on top if you know what I mean), so hopefully all is well. I am still not 'sick' although I have increased bouts of nausea- but seriously, random and rare so not worth talking about. Oh, and my nipples are on fire- literally, there are days i come home and take off my bra before anything else because I think they are being scraped off.

We picked up my car yesterday. I am very weirded out by it. I made it home (70 miles) without issue, all the lights are out. My next step is going to be watching the gas and how much I get because my car has a gas bladder instead of a tank, so I read online about cases where it has collapsed. I want to make sure when I 'fill' my car up, I am actually getting it full and not only 1/2 full and that would be why I ran out of gas.
My mom (love her) keeps saying, 'at least you learned', and i want to scream- learned what???? Learned that when I fill my hybrid up and the gas meter reads half full, that I can run out of gas?? WTF did I learn from this- nothing. I wasn't stupid about getting gas, something was weird.

We did nothing this weekend... seriously nothing. The only productive thing I did was pick up some Christmas gifts. I love relaxing, do nothing weekends. Now I have to unrelax and get ready for thanksgiving. I think I will be posting pics of possible table setups because now that we are getting close- I have no idea how we are going to fit 16 people into our townhouse, that does not have a dining room (or dining table) for a sit down dinner. Hopefully you ladies can help me out :)
<3
Car

blech

what a couple of days... well really, what a night last night. Yesterday i took a 'mental health' day for our annual Nik girls shopping day with my mom and sis. We were very productive (and by productive I mean we helped the economy :) ) and it was a great day... went home to my parents, had homemade spaghetti & meatballs, then hit the road around 8 thinking I would be at my house by 10.- yeah try 12:30 am by the time the debacle was said and done.
So I am driving along down the Garden State Parkway, get off to get onto the NJ turnpike, and as I was getting to the end of the exit ramp, right before the Tpke toll booth, my car felt funny, wouldn't accelerate, and then lit up like a Christmas tree. We had the big red exclamation point in a triangle, the yellow exclamation point in parenthesis, the VSC light, and the check engine light. I also had the worlds most useless manual (ie: if the light is lit, it means the system isn't working- thanks, really).
Fortunately I was only 30 mins from my parents, so my dad hit the road to come get me. My H called for service. The stupid turnpike does not allow AAA on it- they have their own service which is $65 a tow. The guy shows up and says he only is contracted to take me off the road- not to a mechanic, so he would tow me to the Walmart parking lot, leave me there, and I could call AAA from that point. So I paid him an extra 100 bucks to not do that and take me to the dealer. Thankfully by the time we were ready to go my dad was there so we could follow my car to the dealership. We went there, left the car, called my H and my H started driving north, my dad south- so they could meet halfway and exchange me so I could make it home.
So today they call and say I ran out of gas... WHAT???? I filled my tank (granted only for $8.50, but I wasn't on empty- I was just topping it off before I drove) on sunday. Since I topped off the tank to the breakdown, I had only driven 140 miles. ummmm I drive a hybrid??? How could I have run out of gas? My fuel tank said 1/2 a tank when I brokedown. My car wouldn't get into gear but would only stay in park when i was broken down, my VSC light was on- how on earth is that from running out of gas. "well that is the only thing the computer picked up, we added fuel and drove it for 12 miles and it is fine".

??????????????? I am annoyed, pissed, want whatever is wrong with my car fixed- even if it is the gas gauge that is making me believe I have more gas, and I am scared to drive the 70 miles home that I need to drive to get my car from NJ to Philly.

rant over- i don't get it, and my H is being an idiot saying 'get it in writing"... if they say the transmission is fine, don't charge us, and then it breaks- wtf is having it in writing going to do? like we would bring it back to them anyway? and it wouldn't be covered b/c it wasn't a service we paid for? most mechanics try to 'fix' as much as possible to make some money- so if there was something else they could possibly do I imagine they would, but I don't get how I could have been out of gas if I had just filled up and my tank was registering about 1/2 tank. I also don't get how being out of gas could cause all the other stuff.

rant over. i was crying on the side of the road, i am almost in tears thinking about it, and i just want my car and am scared to go get it... fecking hormones and annoyances

week 9 - our baby is the size of a green olive!
next minimilestone- 9 days- ultrasound #2 on 11/17

Wahooooo- we made it to week 9! If you read my blog- I would like to draw your attention to the little bubble ticker at the side that shows the fetus. Seriously- how different is it from just 2 weeks ago? let alone 5 weeks ago? It amazes me to look at that little globe of baby- our baby looks like a little mini person now, not a worm/tadpole/alien. I still feel great, really really great. I get random twinges/cramps, mild occasional (and I mean occasional like really really occasional and random) nausea, sore boobs, and constipation - but besides that, which is completely managable and not worth talking about much, I am great. Plus- the bathroom issues are my fault now- my ob/gyn gave me a prescription for Colace to help me out, but I have yet to fill it because I was doing ok for a bit- i will be picking it up today because now it has been a couple days. I used to laugh a little and just kind of shrug it off when people posted about pooping issues during pregnancy- now i get it, I really do- not fun :)

I will say that I am a bit worried about feeling great- I wasn't before because everyone is different, you ladies have reassured me, told me not to ask for trouble- I was (and still pretty much am) good with it. Then at the Dr. when I said I felt great and she told me that was genetic, I said how my mom was 'sick as a dog' (her words),- well then she made me make another appt. Feeling great was part of the reason she wanted me to get another u/s, 'to reassure myself that my lack of symptoms were not because they baby stopped growing'. Thanks for putting that thought in my head... I really should look into a new dr. (the heartrate thing, this, she just kind of stinks), but that idea scares me too because who knows who I would find. I just think it is bogus for her to say it is genetic. What about the people I know who have wonderful 1st pregnancies, and then are so sick they can barely function the next? where are the genes in that?... my dr. drives me nuts.

U/S decision- i decided to go earlier. I talked to Eric and he is ok with waiting until after thanksgiving to tell his family. At first it made me a little sad he is ok with it, like why are you not bursting with the news, but I realized that after seeing how i was after the chem. pregnancy- he is all about doing whatever I need to do to be comfortable about this. He is waiting for me, not because of lack of excitement. So we are going to go for our u./s on 11/17 (10 weeks 2 days). I will schedule the NT for Friday 12/5 (12 weeks 6 days), and then the next family GTG after that- which might be Hannukah, (at 15 weeks) will be the big tell.

So Eric and I were talking and I said we need a name to call the baby while I am pregnant. Some of my favorite ladies in the world call theirs 'The Goonie", "The Gummy", The Dude, The Kid... We are not going to find out the sex and I just want a name for him/her. I called him/her the MnM since our last name starts with an M... That is cute online, when typed, and all- but sounds funny speaking. So what does my brilliant husband suggest- Lester. And no joke- even though he was kidding, and I turned it down, he has now thought it was funny to call the baby Lester, and something that started as a haha joke to make Carly annoyed, has now caught on- and he is actually calling the baby Lester without premeditation. Help me, seriously :) I said what if it is a girl, how will we explain this- he said we could lie and say we called her Lesterette or Lesterina... My goofy husband makes me laugh- a lot.

In other news- 3 day weekend for me! I am meeting my mom and sister for our quarterly shopping binge at Woodbury Commons. We may all live in different states, but at least 3, usually 4 times a year, we go up to Woodbury Commons in upstate NY, and shop all day. It is an amazing outlet mall that is outdoors in the middle of the Catskills. They have outlets for regular stores- Gap, Banana, Nike, Ann Taylor, etc... but then they have outlets for stores like Michael Kors, Coach, Armani, Waterford, Crate & Barrel, etc. We have sooo much fun together, it is totally our girl thing, and I am hoping I get a great dent in on my xmas shopping!

TTYL my lovelies... signing out to spend a Saturday afternoon with my H

ammended- What would you do??

this is a really silly question- but I am actually debating this.
You all know my fears re: the baby and how I get another ultrasound- my dr. wanted me to wait until i hit 10 weeks before scheduling it.

Do I get it on Monday 11/17- when I am 10 weeks 2 days, the earliest date I can schedule, for peace of mind that the heartbeat is ok
or... Do I get it a little later- like Friday at 10 weeks 6 days or the following monday, 11 weeks 2 days- just because the later i see things, the closer I am to the 2nd trimester, hopefully the better I feel about the pregnancy- plus we want to tell DH's family on thanksgiving

i should also mention- i have a script for the NT scan= which is an ultrasound that happens between 11 - 13 weeks 6 days, so i have 2 u/s coming up. i don't know if that will make a diff. in your opinion

i know it is only a matter of days- and this is a stupid internal debate.. but seeing a healthy baby at just 10 weeks versus 11 weeks would make a difference mentally- but so would the long wait LOL.

so wwyd?

I just want to be happy

I just want to be happy and excited about being pregnant (and believe me- I am these things, I really am- but i want to be JUST these things, without the other b.s.). I feel like I am ruining the experience for myself by all my nerves- and I want to tell myself to shut the f up and enjoy this time.

I hate being negative- I hate being a worrier. Yesterday the Dr. made me worry by saying she wants me to have a follow up u/s because the fetal heart rate was a little slow. I already worried about the heart rate- I was over it and confident she felt it was fine- because that is what she told me 2 f'ing weeks ago. Now- without having a new heart rate or any new info, she finds it concerning and is sending me in for an u./s- but the kicker is she wants me to wait until I am 10 weeks along to go. I know rationally if it was something to really worry about that she would have said this 2 weeks ago, I also know rationally that if it was something dire I would not be waiting 2 weeks but would be going asap- but come on doc- make up your f'ing mind. You know I have anxiety issues by my blood pressure. Don't tell me something is not to be worried about one week, then say that SAME thing is a concern the next.

Anyway- I am resolving myself to get over my fears. I want to be happy, excited, buy little things I love as I see them. I want to talk about names and decorations- things I have not let myself do. I am going to start trying to not freak out over things like the FHR and start being happy about things like having graduated officially from an embryo to a fetus this week- YAY

So here is a go for happiness... although I am still worried and am going to make my next u/s my next minimilestone. Hopefully I can get it scheduled for Monday- November 17th, 10 weeks 2 days.

Week 8 & Weekend

The Phillies World Series Parade was pretty cool. I have never seen anything like it- there were over a million people, it was a sea of red, all for the parade. The parade itself kind of stunk (no marching band, music, dancers) - It was just a couple of busses and flatbeds carrying the players. I really think they could have done so much more. But to be here for it was an experience.



Besides the parade it was a quiet weekend. That was Friday- it started around noon and we didn't get home until 8 oclock- it was a big drinking, celebratory day. I was highly entertained. I pretend drank (holding a beer, only filling it half way, etc). the worse part was at the parade, with a beer in my hand- running into my students (yes- in the million + people, I ran into 3 students). So imagine, I am supposed to be in school, they are supposed to be in school, and it is 12:30pm and I am on the streets with a Miller Lite. Oh well- I am of age and I told my principal why I wasn't coming in so nothing can come of that.
Saturday morning Eric left for Seattle. I ran around- went to Smith & Hawken, PBKids, Costco, and bought lots of thanksgiving decorations so that when we host our house looks nice. I must say my mantle looks gorgeous and like it should be in a store- i will post a picture. I watched "Definitely, Maybe" last night- it was cute, I cried, I wouldn't watch it again... Today I cleaned the basement to get ready for Thanksgiving as well. I hope to hoard the terrors, I mean nephews, down there since we are having 17 people in a townhouse- I am worried about space and figure if we have the foosball, PS3, maybe a movie down there... then we should at least be able to keep them occupied.
So it was a quiet, yet very productive weekend :)

PREGNANCY WISE!


Our baby is the size of a raspberry- keep on growing little one!

Well we made it to 8 weeks pregnant yesterday. Stick baby stick! I am freaking myself out because today I woke up with pretty bad cramps and when I coughed I had shooting pain. I pray that this is just normal uterine stretching- but my cramps were kind of bad so of course I am going crazy. Google is very much NOT my friend right now. But I am going to try to stop freaking out because as the day went on I felt better.
Dr's appt on Tuesday! I figure I must be doing ok because it has been 2 weeks since they took blood and 1 week since I turned in my jug of pee. I assume I would have heard something if any of my #s were out of normal range. I am going to talk to my doctor about constipation issues (I was on the brink of tears and TMI but had drops of blood the other day) and about maybe getting another u/s - or some sort of heartrate check- doesn't have to be anything major, since I have the heavy cramping and the heart rate was slow and basically I am freaking myself out. (which she knows b/c of my elevated bp).
But I am doing well- happy that time is passing, wish it would pass a little quicker- but I am learning that no matter where I am in this- I am going to worry- it is not like once we hit 13 weeks I am magically going to no longer worry about things. :)