Tuesday, September 30, 2008

10dpo

it's funny- I was reading back through my old posts around the time of my c/p- and I read my advice to "never test early" and that you "will never see me saying should i test" and wanting to test early

BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right- I wish I kept that mentality, kind of funny reading back what a hypocrite I am- but I guess in those posts was the grief talking, and now I am back to my impatient, optimistic self.

So we shall see... I want to hold out, but at the same time I bought these internet cheapies to allow myself to give into the POAS urge and not be wasting money.

My name is Carly, and I am a POASaholic- (I have been in denial, this is the 1st step!)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Knock on wood... but

today I actually feel like a normal person again.

I have not really blogged about the hives issues I am having- actually, sometimes it seems silly to blog at all because my only readers are girls I 'talk' to all the time anyway and they know this stuff. But it is cathartic to write it all out, and then I am not such an AW or whatever if I write here...

but anyway

I have been breaking out into hives DAILY since July 26th-28th (I can't pinpoint the exact day, but I went to my parents house on July 31st, had a break out, my mom freaked thinking it was the lobster I ate, and I remember reassuring her that I had been getting them for a couple days already and it was not an allergic reaction to the lobster).
Even in San Diego I had hives, although not nearly as bad as they are at home. But at home I have some days where it is an annoyance, and some where I want to scratch until my skin bleeds.
After we returned from vacation I called multiple dermatologists for an appointment- so many said they couldn't see me for a month or even more. I finally found one to take me within 5 days. I went to see this dermatoligist- and I cannot tell you how much I loved her. She wrote me a script for allegra, told me it is a 24 hr pill but I could take it twice a day if I felt like I needed it, and we would follow up in 3 weeks b/c that is when the magic 6 week mark would hit. For hives- 6 weeks is the time mark where it goes from accute to chronic- who knows why that is the time limit, but it is.
So we hit the 6 week mark, and I went into the dermatologist. She removed my bumps on my head (totally unrelated to hives but YAY for that anyway). It was a weird procedure because it was only local numbing so I was awake, could see the bloody gauze as they carried it away, and could hear/smell them catarizing my skin to seal up the blood vessels. We discussed my hives and I am so proud of myself for advocating- she switched me from allegra to zyrtec because allegra is category C while zyrtec is category B- so YAY. Now I don't have to feel guilty medicating myself for this while ttc. I also had bloodwork taken, and a few days later, I got a call from the dermatologist with a diagnosis-
Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria
YAY a diagnosis- WTF does it mean? It means we have no fucking clue why you have hives but you do... I am relieved that all my bloodwork came back normal, but no explanation for the hell I have been living with is unacceptable to me.
So now I have an appointment with an allergist October 6th. Yet another day off of work for this crap, and I am really, really dreading the days before the appointment b.c I am not allowed to take antihistimines for 4 days before the appt if I want allergy testing done (which is the whole point). I am going to die.

In any case- the good news is I have been googling, this is common enough to have a lot of online threads, blogs etc, about it. I was able to see what had and had not worked for people. lot of people said in addition to zyrtec, they take a heart burn pill such as zantac, because it attacks a different type of histimine in the body then zyrtec. I started this combo last night, and again this morning- and I have a couple itchy spots on my calves, but that is it.
So here is to hoping this helps me out, and to praying I make it through the wait for the allergist. At least that appt. is on a Monday so I can be home and not at work for a couple of the days.


TTC front- 8dpo, cheapy HPTs came in mail... now i know why they were so cheap, but hey- at $0.40 a pop I am not going to complain. BFN, big surprise huh? So tonight I am going to enjoy some cocktails at our friends wedding, and I won't be testing again until October (sounds so far, but Oct1 is 12dpo, I think I will wait until 14 dpo though :)

Monday, September 22, 2008

crosshairs baby

booooooo-ya

and now the 2ww, finally :)

my hopes are middle/low for this cycle. While rationally they should be good since we had sex 3,2,1 day before o and morning of temp rise and used preconceive- we missed sex on o day and i was d-r-y-dry down there from the antihistimines. But we gave it what we got and hopefully it is good enough- I am soo stinking happy to be in the 2ww :)

and on that note- I also ordered 50 HPTs from the web for 20 bucks. Excessive I know- but it will allow me to test at 8dpo without feeling like not just an ass, but an ass who wastes money. And before my forties tell me not to do it- I KNOW it will be a BFN, i know that i could still be pg that day, but we are going to a wedding, the test cost less than 50 cents each, and just to humor myself and feel ok about a couple cocktails, I am going to do it :)

MUAH

Saturday, September 20, 2008

What are you happy about today?

I am happy about
* the start of fall weather, i love the crisp air and fall clothing
* school- I can usually tell by this point if it is going to be a good year or bad year, the kids and schedule can make or break it- I think it is going to be a great year.
* My Husband- I may complain about him, but you know- usually it is the bad things that get voiced to others and the good things that kept in- he is such a good man, who does little things all the time to please me (like bringing me flowers home EVERY time he goes to the market- which shows how often he goes)
* My family- I see what my H goes through with his mom, and I can't help but reflect and be grateful at how close I am to my family. My mom and sister are true girlfriends, I am close with my brother & father- it is amazing how tight knit all 5 of us are, and I am truly grateful.
* My Dog- I just love her
* My forties- a group of women whom who knows if I will ever meet all of them- they encourage me, support me, listen, & laugh- those are true friendships, forget the fact that they are in the virtual world- it means so much to have a support network, and to feel like I can be a support to them.
* Prenatal vitamins - are making my nails pretty :)
*Coffee- seriously, coffee is my drug- and I have switched to ordering 1/2 regular, 1/2 decaf and the transition has gone great!

Update

OPK negative today!!! (YAY- feels weird to say that, but hey, i would have been freaking out if it was 4 days positive).

Temp Up Today!!! (YAY!!!- But I am not sure if it is accurate b/c I had some drinks last night- didn't get loaded, maybe a little tipsy at one point, and was in bed by midnight, so hopefully the effects of that were minimal enough to make this big of a temp jump significant).

I am on temp watch for tomorrow- hopefully it is up, if so then I either o'd today or yesterday. Hopefully our sex timing was ok (last weekend Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed, Thurs, (we missed yesterday:( ), Today (Sat) AM, and we will go again tonight :)

Hope all my other ladies are doing great!

Friday, September 19, 2008

So... here is where I am at

Confused still.

Excited I may finally be o'ing, but confused and overanalyzing.

The rundown
Today - Friday- is CD25, the latest I have o'd is CD21, the way it looks i should o today, tomorrow, sundayish
The week in review
Wednesday- watery CM, Low CBEFM, +OPK in evening
Thursday- much drier down there (could be antihistamines & anesthetia from surgery though), LOW cbefm, +OPK in evening
Friday- still pretty dry, Peak CBEFM, +OPK in evening

I have never had 3 + OPKs in a row, the Peak on the CBEFM is encouraging that maybe i caught the very beginning of my surge wed and tail end today, but who knows- must wait until tomorrow. So I am hoping that my temp rises tomorrow and that today was the big O day, but I doubt it was today if I got a +OPK at 6pm... so now I am hoping for tomorrow. We don't have much more sex in us LOL- at least tonight and tomorrow night we can drink a little and loosen some inhibitions, buzzed sex always has a little more excitement then 5th weekday in a row, catch that egg sex.

I swear- I love sex, my H and I have great sex, we have had sexathons to compete with the best of them... but when it's ok, we have to do it again tonight, it is a bit less fun :)

I am crossing my fingers for a -OPK tomorrow, if it's + again I am going to begin to think something is wrong

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE & WTF

so this morning, when i once again got a low reading on my CBEFM, i resisted coming on here to post another downer post- i figured every other day of bitching about my lack of anything was enough, and if i progressed to daily bitching it would reinforce my negative nelly attitude of late. So I was trying to be positive.

and now i am glad I didn't post a rambling vent-fest- because I just saw a glorious smiley face on my OPK- seriously, best marketing ever- that smiley face makes me so damn happy, it's crazy :)
ummm- this notation added Thursday at 5:30 am, but WTF?!?!?!?! I just did my CBEFM this morning and it is STILL LOW- why, why is it low, but I got a + OPK last night (also by company clearblue easy, with no doubt to the result b/c of the happy face). What does that mean? I guess I will have to watch my temps and see- which sux b/c this mornings temp is really high, but i barely slept since my stitches and all (see below)

In other events- I had minor surgery today on my head- finally getting rid of my bumps. Now I won't be embarrassed every time I go to a hairdresser or whatever. I am in a little bit of pain- tylenol has helped, but yay for de-bumpifying. I also am going for bloodwork tomorrow to see if we can figure out these damn hives. Daily hives since July 28th- it sucks. so hopefully I will get some answers.

But now my de-bumpified, hopefully ovulating within the next day or two, self is gonna go get me some :)

Goodnight!