Sleep

I am giving up on sleep training- sort of.
We are now over a month in and it has worked in some ways and failed in others.

The good-
I can now put B down for the night awake and he will chat himself to sleep.
When he wakes for feeding I can put him down awake and he goes to sleep on his own.
I hear him cry out sometimes and within 5 minutes of random cries- he is back asleep.

So he definitely learned something

The Bad-
My goal was to get him to 1 feeding a night, around 4 am. This failed miserable. I tried doing CIO for the 1-2am wakeup and he would cry for over an hour.

So now I am feeding him twice (1:30 & 4:30). I am up for a total of 15-20 minutes each time and he goes right back down.

I guess he just was not ready to drop a 2nd feeding. I am torn because the ped said he should be, books say he should be down to 1, but I just can't do it. I can't let him cry thinking he is hungry. I want to sleep- and feeding him twice quickly is better for both of us getting sleep than letting him cry through one feeding and then feeding him later.

I don't know if this counts as success or failure- but the attempt didn't work. Now I am just hoping he drops a feeding on his own. When he was about 3 mos old we were on the same schedule we are on now. He gradually woke later and later and was feeding once around 3, then 4, and then even 5 or 6. Hopefully if we keep on this path he will do that again. My big goal is to start getting him to really eat more during the day. I don't know if it is because I nurse on demand that he takes snacks rather than full feeds- I am going to try to space out my nursing and see if that helps. Solids are hit or miss- some days he eats only 2 oz, somedays up to 8. The nights don't seem to correlate to anything in regards to solids. So- here's hoping he adjusts on his own. In my heart I think he learned what he needed to from CIO. And unless I go hardcore and drop all feedings, this is the best it is going to be for now. I feel a bit like a failure, and I feel bad for him and that we did so many nights of crying.
At least we are both getting a little more sleep this way.