What are you happy about today?

I am happy about
* the start of fall weather, i love the crisp air and fall clothing
* school- I can usually tell by this point if it is going to be a good year or bad year, the kids and schedule can make or break it- I think it is going to be a great year.
* My Husband- I may complain about him, but you know- usually it is the bad things that get voiced to others and the good things that kept in- he is such a good man, who does little things all the time to please me (like bringing me flowers home EVERY time he goes to the market- which shows how often he goes)
* My family- I see what my H goes through with his mom, and I can't help but reflect and be grateful at how close I am to my family. My mom and sister are true girlfriends, I am close with my brother & father- it is amazing how tight knit all 5 of us are, and I am truly grateful.
* My Dog- I just love her
* My forties- a group of women whom who knows if I will ever meet all of them- they encourage me, support me, listen, & laugh- those are true friendships, forget the fact that they are in the virtual world- it means so much to have a support network, and to feel like I can be a support to them.
* Prenatal vitamins - are making my nails pretty :)
*Coffee- seriously, coffee is my drug- and I have switched to ordering 1/2 regular, 1/2 decaf and the transition has gone great!

Update

OPK negative today!!! (YAY- feels weird to say that, but hey, i would have been freaking out if it was 4 days positive).

Temp Up Today!!! (YAY!!!- But I am not sure if it is accurate b/c I had some drinks last night- didn't get loaded, maybe a little tipsy at one point, and was in bed by midnight, so hopefully the effects of that were minimal enough to make this big of a temp jump significant).

I am on temp watch for tomorrow- hopefully it is up, if so then I either o'd today or yesterday. Hopefully our sex timing was ok (last weekend Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed, Thurs, (we missed yesterday:( ), Today (Sat) AM, and we will go again tonight :)

Hope all my other ladies are doing great!

So... here is where I am at

Confused still.

Excited I may finally be o'ing, but confused and overanalyzing.

The rundown
Today - Friday- is CD25, the latest I have o'd is CD21, the way it looks i should o today, tomorrow, sundayish
The week in review
Wednesday- watery CM, Low CBEFM, +OPK in evening
Thursday- much drier down there (could be antihistamines & anesthetia from surgery though), LOW cbefm, +OPK in evening
Friday- still pretty dry, Peak CBEFM, +OPK in evening

I have never had 3 + OPKs in a row, the Peak on the CBEFM is encouraging that maybe i caught the very beginning of my surge wed and tail end today, but who knows- must wait until tomorrow. So I am hoping that my temp rises tomorrow and that today was the big O day, but I doubt it was today if I got a +OPK at 6pm... so now I am hoping for tomorrow. We don't have much more sex in us LOL- at least tonight and tomorrow night we can drink a little and loosen some inhibitions, buzzed sex always has a little more excitement then 5th weekday in a row, catch that egg sex.

I swear- I love sex, my H and I have great sex, we have had sexathons to compete with the best of them... but when it's ok, we have to do it again tonight, it is a bit less fun :)

I am crossing my fingers for a -OPK tomorrow, if it's + again I am going to begin to think something is wrong

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE & WTF

so this morning, when i once again got a low reading on my CBEFM, i resisted coming on here to post another downer post- i figured every other day of bitching about my lack of anything was enough, and if i progressed to daily bitching it would reinforce my negative nelly attitude of late. So I was trying to be positive.

and now i am glad I didn't post a rambling vent-fest- because I just saw a glorious smiley face on my OPK- seriously, best marketing ever- that smiley face makes me so damn happy, it's crazy :)
ummm- this notation added Thursday at 5:30 am, but WTF?!?!?!?! I just did my CBEFM this morning and it is STILL LOW- why, why is it low, but I got a + OPK last night (also by company clearblue easy, with no doubt to the result b/c of the happy face). What does that mean? I guess I will have to watch my temps and see- which sux b/c this mornings temp is really high, but i barely slept since my stitches and all (see below)

In other events- I had minor surgery today on my head- finally getting rid of my bumps. Now I won't be embarrassed every time I go to a hairdresser or whatever. I am in a little bit of pain- tylenol has helped, but yay for de-bumpifying. I also am going for bloodwork tomorrow to see if we can figure out these damn hives. Daily hives since July 28th- it sucks. so hopefully I will get some answers.

But now my de-bumpified, hopefully ovulating within the next day or two, self is gonna go get me some :)

Goodnight!

just when you start getting hopeful, a kick in the nads

cycle day 22 here

so last night i got my hopes up that o was coming- my opk's while negative definitely showed a darker line then before (which made me hope they will be positive opk's over the next day or so since that darker line would mean my LH is increasing), then I have to say I felt fluidity down in my lady parts- just that CM feeling you get when you've got the goods- no EWCM, but nice and watery, and then to give me even more hope my temp dipped this morning.

so i pee in my cup and do my cbefm- FUCKING LOW STILL

:) I am resolved to be happy and not think about this anymore today. It is what it is, I will do an opk tonight, see what happens, and - well honestly, nothing I can do will change it. So I am off to enjoy the day.

CD 20 here...

and I am getting so frustrated. I feel like I can't complain about it on my TTC boards, some people have cycles that are over 50, 75, 100 days... and I don't want to sound petulant because the fact that I have been ovulating around the same time each cycle is lucky. But you know what- I want to complain, I am fucking frustrated, I don't want to hear about how it could be worse (i know that) (and there are certain people on certain boards that would just be complete bitches about telling me how much worse it could be), and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by complaining (because some of my favorite ladies have awful cycles that make my heart ache for them)- so I want to complain- where better to do it but here.

Do you ever need to bitch about something, and you don't want reassurance, justifications, devil's advocate- you just want to rant and get your fucking feelings out and then feel better- that's where I am. I want to scream I am so frustrated, and I know I am overly so, but I can't help it- I think we are all entitled :) And this little rant is not just about TTC, but anything... even if I complain about my husband, job, whatever or something to my mother, she will justify or be like, well... you know... and all i want to do is just bitch for 5 minutes, it is usually something that I just need to get out and get over and is not a big deal at all.

So my TTC complaint of the day-
CD 20- still no sign of O, still low readings, still negative opks... CD21 is my latest O day and I have always had highs, + opks, EWCM, or something in prior cycle days to indicate it is coming.
I know I shouldn't worry for a while since I am not even out of my normal O range... but,
I am getting worried- I am on medicine for these stupid hives, is that why? I had my sisters wedding and then the start of school, is that why? WTF is going on- is my O delayed, or am I not going to O, or what.

I hate this whole process...

CD 18 here...

and no O in sight. No ewcm, low readings on cbefm, neg. opks... my latest O has been CD21. I know i should not be frustrated yet- there is still time for these signs to show, O can vary, etc. But I am impatient and hate waiting to ovulate... I also started taking the Fertility Blend vitamin by GNC this cycle- which contains vitex which has helped some women O a little sooner- so I think that is part of my frustration. Even though rationally I know it can take a few cycles to have effect- and it is 3 pills a day and I am not the best at taking it- I missed a lot of it during CD 4-9 because I was staying at my parents house for the wedding and didn't want to leave it out in the bathroom

give me the 2ww over the waiting to ovulate any day.